How to Accomplish Tasks You Dislike

Many entrepreneurs I know get into the business so that they can do what they love. Many have told me that at their corporate jobs they usually spent 40-50% of the time doing something that they actually enjoyed, while the rest of the time was spent in meetings, planning, writing TPS reports, and engaging in all sorts of corporate administrivia.

Naturally, newly minted entrepreneurs think that the only business activities they will have to participate in are the ones they actually like. Unfortunately, they are in for a rude awakening. As they start operating their businesses, new business owners are chagrined to discover that they will have to engage in some activities that are very similar to those they were doing at their corporate jobs: accounting, marketing, PR, and administrative work for their businesses. In fact, new entrepreneurs discover that they end up having to perform even more uninteresting activities than they did in their corporate jobs. Unfortunately, completing these tasks is a must. Your business will not do well if marketing, accounting, and administrative items are not taken care of.

Naturally, faced with doing tasks they don't like business owners procrastinate and become very good at wasting copious amounts of time. At the end of the day, nothing gets done. Not even tasks that are fun.

AvocadoConsulting.com has created a plan designed to help you identify and conquer unpleasant activities. This ensures that they will get done and you won't spend any more time on them than it is absolutely necessary:

* Identify tasks you dislike doing. These are the ones that make you cringe just from thinking about them, take you forever to accomplish, and rev your procrastination mode into high gear

* Decide on what it will take to accomplish them:

1. Break them up and do them for just one hour (but do them!) every day.

2. Pick a special day of the week (Monday is a good candidate, since it doesn't have a good reputation already) and allocate it to tasks you dislike. Spend the rest of the week completing other activities.

3. Identify rewards you can give yourself when you complete each one of these tasks. Give yourself an hour off to go out and get a cup of coffee, eat a piece of low-fat chocolate cake, or read that magazine that you've been neglecting for a month.

* Outsource. You can't get someone else to go to the dentist for you (and get the same effect), but you can get someone else to perform many of your business tasks. Get an accountant to do your accounting. Hire a professional organizer to help you organize your office and your documents. Find a virtual assistant for help with administrative tasks.

Take action today. Identify tasks you dislike doing, figure out how to go about completing them, and go do them. Right now.

Biana Babinsky helps coaches, consultants, and other solopreneurs create passive income streams, get more clients online and make more money. Get her FREE Special Report, "Top 5 Ways to Increase your Online Sales" by going to http://www.internationalpractice.com/free_newsletter.html and get her "Complete Step by Step Online Marketing Course", the ultimate how-to guide to marketing your business online at http://avocadoconsulting.com/rlinks/zcourse

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How Could He Give Us Up

“How could I give you up...?" (Hosea 11:8).

James Dobson wrote an interesting book, Love Must Be Tough. God has to be tough at times, too, with his stiff-necked and stubborn people, which includes us all. But how our hearts melt when we read, "My heart is overwhelmed, my pity is stirred" (Hosea 11:8b). We forget that our Father has feelings, too. Humans give up on each other when it seems hopeless, but God goes on loving and giving and forgiving.

Years ago one of our sons had been giving us trouble. One day he asked our forgiveness. To quote verse 8, my heart was overwhelmed. We both wept. How could I not free him, for that is really the essence of forgiveness. "I delight in mercy," says our God of the Old Testament. I certainly delighted in telling this precious son about a God "who removes guilt and pardons sin ... Who does not persist in anger forever, but delights rather in clemency..." (Micah 7:18). Thank God that He chooses to grant us mercy instead of the full measure of justice. He says to us all, "How could I give you up?"

“Oh, prodigal, you may be wandering on the dark mountains of sin, but God wants you to come home! The devil has been telling you lies about God; you think He will not receive you back. I tell you He will welcome you this minute if you will come. Say ‘I will arise, and go to my Father.’ There is not one whom Jesus has not sought far longer than that father. There has not been a day since you left Him but tie has followed you. I do not care what the past has been, or how black your life, He will receive you back. Arise, then, O backslider, and come home once more to your Father’s house” (D. L. Moody).

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Here To Stay

I am disturbed by the tendency of some people to view Christianity as a trend rather than a way of life. Some take it to the next level and try to make it some sort of a secret club. If you doubt me, just look at the reaction to the 2004 election results. It didn’t take the media long to start harping on how “Evangelical Christians” turned the tide and were trying to establish their morality through politics. Pretty soon, newspapers and magazines were filled with angry diatribes of how we had no right to push our beliefs on them, and how we are trying to establish a “wacky theocracy.” The only thing more disturbing than this are the people that pick and choose popular aspects of the faith that they believe promise a quick, miracle cure for their problems. They will accept good things like peace, grace, and salvation, but ignore the difficult things like patience, obedience, and sacrifice. The first time they have to wait or give up something, they’re out of the game.

I am not going to get into politics here, but I will admit that people are adamant about their opinions on religion and politics. I even had a psychology teacher in high school that warned all of her students to never discuss either of these topics unless they are looking for a fight. So many of us have found this to be true. Nothing makes people mad faster than questioning their morals. Yet Christians are called to spread the good news of Christ throughout the world. So how are we supposed to do this if we aren’t allowed to talk about it? Many people believe their own life should be a testament to the teachings of Christ, and they shouldn’t need to talk about it. While we are supposed to demonstrate our faith through our actions, it’s not enough.

I found through experience that if you live right, you are eventually going to be questioned about it. Christ says, “You are the light of the world … Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:14; 16 RSV) People are going to see this light through your words and actions and wonder what it is about. Sometimes it’s in a good way, like when people ask me why I’m happy most of the time. Sometimes it’s in a bad way, like a situation a few years ago when I complained about morals being compromised at work. In both instances, that light was shining through my actions, and people wanted to know why. These are the times when we are given an opportunity to share our faith and open this light to others.

We must be ready to tell people the truth about our faith, and let them know that it’s no secret society of passing trend. Paul tells us, “let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer every one.” (Colossians 4:6 RSV) This wise man knew through hard experience that the news of Christ would always light a fire in people: Either to accept Him and serve the Kingdom, or to anger them and try to shut you up. When people see the light of Christ, they are either drawn to it or desire to put it out!

People do come down hard on Christianity, but the truth is that we’re here to stay. In the days of Christ’s ministry, the priest and many other people of the old Jewish tradition did not like Him and wanted to silence His message. They liked the elite status they had as the chosen ones, and weren’t happy about having God’s love and approval opened up to everybody. There are many instances in the gospels where they questioned Christ’s teachings, tried to trap Him in twisted words, or outright argued the validity of His message. He made uniting with God too easy, and that was the excuse used to crucify Him. What they forgot was that Jesus is eternal, and He is here to stay. His resurrection brought about the very thing God intended for humanity, which is our salvation and unity with Him through believe in Christ. He lives on in His believers through the Holy Spirit, and Christianity has been spreading ever since. In fact, it seems resurrection has become a theme in Christian life – every time the world has tried to bring us down, it rises again somewhere else. Despite the fact that every disciple was murdered except John (who was exiled) it kept growing. Every martyr of the faith gave it strength to revive and spread through the ages. Satan couldn’t stop Christ’s purpose, and His victory means this world can’t stop it. It’s like the church sign I saw one day that read: WE ARE THE CHRISTIANS SATAN WARNED YOU ABOUT. We’re still going strong and just like Christ’s message, we’re here to stay. He even promised that “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.” (Mark 13:31 RSV)

You have to accept the fact that people bound to this world will try to make your faith a liability, but you should always stand firm in it. You can never do wrong by doing right. Remember that suffering for doing right is temporary, while the reward is eternal. This world will pass away, but the Kingdom is permanent. Our job is to plant the seed in others; their job is to accept or reject it. If they accept it, you have started a wonderful work. If they reject it, “shake off the dust from your feet as a testimony against them” (Luke 9:5 RSV) and move on in search of others that are willing to hear you.

Christianity may not be the quick fix or miracle cure that this world wants, but its benefits are far more lasting and open to every human being on the planet. I can’t imagine a better deal than comfort for this lifetime and rejoicing for eternity. People everywhere are always looking for good news that will make their lives better, and the message of Christ is the best news they can get!

Sherri Fulmer Moorer is a freelance Christian/Inspirational writer from Columbia, SC. Her writing focuses on applying faith to everyday living situations, and is based on her own personal experiences and the experiences of those around her. Her goal is to show people that the battles they face in life are shared by others, and how the Lord can use their experiences to build faith. She is the author of Battleground Earth - Living by Faith in a Pagan World (PublishAmerica 2004), which is a book about spiritual warfare and discovering faith in day-to-day living. For additional information, please visit the Battleground Earth web page at http://hometown.aol.com/bgearth/index.html

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Have You Had Your Corners Knocked Off Yet

In 1971, after four years of service in the U. S. Army, I enrolled in the University of West Florida at Pensacola, paying my way with G. I. Bill money. In order to gain some accounting experience and stretch the money a little, I entered a Cooperative Education program sponsored by the University. In this program I studied at the University for a quarter (they used a quarter term, not the semester), and then worked in the accounting department at the Air Force Armaments Testing Lab (AFATL) at Eglin Air Force Base (AFB) for a quarter.

A student named Bill worked the same schedule as I did. However, where I had spent an extra semester at Florida State University (learning to shoot pool), and then 4 years in the military, Bill had gone straight from high school into Pensacola Junior College and then to the Unversity of West Florida. I was about five years older than he was.

Our first day at Eglin AFB, we met briefly with Mr. Cecil Bray, Deputy Comptroller for AFATL. He was very kind an informative, and after a few minutes of chit-chat, he looked at Bill and told him what his assignment was going to be for that quarter. He then picked up the phone and called someone to come get Bill and take him to the office where he would be working. He continued to chat with us, and in a few minutes, someone showed up and took Bill in tow.

So far, Mr. Bray had not said anything to me about my assignment. Now, with Bill gone, he seemed to relax a little bit. He looked at me and explained. He had a department which he thought would be of great value to both of us to work in. It was a new Job-Order Cost Accounting section which was developing a program for tracking project costs at the lab. However, he went on, the crew of accountants developing the program had been hand picked for the project because they were the kind of people who would seek new solutions to new problems. Free thinkers, in a way. I gathered that they were a bit unorthodox in their outlooks, and had been given a bit of a free hand to create this new program.

As Mr. Bray prepared me for this assignment, he made a comment that I have remembered for over 30 years. He looked at me and said, "Young Bill, there, is a good kid, and I want him to have a chance to work with the Job Order Cost Accounting section eventually, but I think he would be scandalized at the way things are done down there. You, on the other hand, have had the corners knocked off."

Having "the corners knocked off" can be a virtue, it seems.

When we are young and idealistic, whether in age, or in experience in a new project, we have a lot of sharp corners. As we come in contact with ideas, particularly those that may not be in total agreement with our preconceived notions, contact between these strange ideas and our sharp corners can tend to spin us off course. Once we've had "the corners knocked off", we are a little better able to stay on target.

In time, as we gain experience in life, or in our special project, having had the corners knocked off allows us to proceed forward without being directed away from our path.

When someone joins a network marketing program or an internet business, there will be a lot of what some people call "negative feedback" and something the sales people call "rejection". When we are new and prickly with all our corners, chance encounters with things that we see as failure can divert us. However, once we have learned a little, usually from these negative encounters, we lose some of those corners, and the successes we encounter help polish us.

In network or internet marketing, as in life, the things that seem to hurt us at first, can often actually be seen to be, as the philosopher Nietzche said, "make us stronger."

We will fail. We will receive negative feedback from relatives, from well-meaning friends, and from the public at large. Those who suceed, however, will be those who simply see all this as nature's way of streamlining us for success.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Donovan Baldwin is retired from the Army after 21 years of service. He has worked as an accountant, purchasing agent, optical lab manager, restaurant manager, instructor and long-haul, over-the-road truck driver. He has been a member of Mensa for several years, and has written and published poetry, essays, and articles on various subjects for the last 40 years. He has been an active internet marketer since 2000, and now makes his living online.

To learn more about improving your marketing performance, please visit http://marketingsecrets.xtramoney4me.net. To read more articles by the author, please visit his blog at http://donovanbaldwin.blogspot.com/, or http://xtramoney4me.net/internet_marketing_links/articles/index.html

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Harold Ford Ad Nothing

There has been a lot of talk regarding Senator wannabee, Harold Ford, from Tennessee. He is in a very tight race with his Republican challenger, Bob Corker. The usual election stuff comes out with ridiculous claims or hyping up some things and downplaying other things. It is common in any race and if it did not involve an important job- US Senator- the ads would be good for Comedy Central.
But one ad from the Republican National Committee has some fuming. After hearing about this advertisement for a bit, I'd finally got to watch it.

The reaction? Is that it? It shows a group of people sarcastically calling for things people would not call for. For instance, one fellow says he hopes his guns are taken away because he "has too many." A woman says she would "like to pay higher marriage taxes." Things like that. Basically, it is alleging Ford stands for these things. Of course, it should be up to the potential voter to know about the candidates long before some shaky political ad comes along. Often, the candidates hope you are clueless. Thus, you can be led like sheep. The ad is no different than a million others.

Then there is the "big whammy" of the anti-Ford advertisement. It shows a guy discussing Ford's alleged "porno dealings." These dealings were no more than him going to a Playboy-sponsored party of some kind. Who wouldn't want to go? An attractive woman then flirtatiously looks into the camera saying, "Call me." Wow!

Democrat supporters, including Ford himself, called for the ad to be pulled alleging some sort of "racial" tones since the woman is white and Ford is mixed-race. Even the Corker camp is saying it is too much and should be pulled. Meanwhile, the election is just about here.

Like many cries of "racism" it is highly exaggerated. An attractive white woman winking saying "call me" hardly has much overtones. In fact, one wonders what the reaction would be if it were a black woman doing the same thing? Cries of "racism" would just start all over again. Some would yell why the ad had to have a black woman instead of any other woman. It is the routine; rather boring, indeed.

Meanwhile, you see advertisements of sleazy back alleys showing what abortion would turn to if a certain candidate were voted in. Rants of "back of the bus" for black people if certain politicians or Supreme Court candidates were allowed in. Grossly exaggerated stuff.... as usual.

Vote how you wish to vote. Political advertisements are good for humor. Its content maybe should be looked at as an extra reason to vote for or against someone. But one must get the facts through personal interest and reading various information on a candidate you could simply could get on the Internet. Once television and radio get involved the hype becomes ridiculous. In the meantime, I am looking to get into a Playboy-sponsored party.

Robert Carberry is a writer from New York

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Fulfilling Your Special Purpose...

If it is true that everything happens for a purpose and you happened the day you were born. It is then safe to say: you have a purpose to fulfill or achieve. But have you ever stopped to wonder what that purpose is? The reason you belong, live or work where you do? Why you are alive? "When you discover your mission, you will feel its demand. It will fill you with enthusiasm and a burning desire to get to work on it."-- W. Clement Stone.

Know that no one is indispensable. To be in control you need to have the ability to hold on to the source. Procrastinating would puts off our dreams - maybe for a few hours, years or forever. When we delay our dreams, it results to delay in fulfilling of our purpose. This means waste of time and missing out on life. “There are two great days in a person's life -- the day we are born and the day we discover why.”-- William Barclay

Believe in yourself. Your purpose in life is usual found in something you love and take great joy in. As joy is a natural expression of one who is fulfilling his or her purpose. What offers you peace? There you will find clues to the destiny that you are trying to reach, your mission in life. “This is how you will begin to manifest and live your wishes and dreams”.-- James Blanchard Cisneros

Though, you may lack certain personality traits compare to others. But it is not natural to live lacking for things. Forget about the “gifted” or “wiz kid” complex. We all have hidden treasures lying within us. You need to psyche ourselves up enough, to believe in our potentials, live our dreams and fulfill our purpose.

As you work on it, remember these:
• Know that no one is entirely useless. Even weeds in the garden help the flower grow.
• Reach within, listen to the whispers of your heart, and bring what is within into the world.
• Set goals that are SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and in time)
• When you get information knowing what to do with the information and then act on it.
• Don’t allow procrastinating keeps you from ultimately fulfilling your goals.
• Avoid ego's traps- Pride is a ride you have to know how to drive.
• Do not concern yourself with comparing yourself to your sibling or colleague.
• Avoid the temptation to engage in self denial, to pretend that nothing is wrong when it is.
• Be self assurance that nothing is beyond the scope of achievement if I dare to try.

"Every once in a while I get an idea stuck in my head for no apparent reason. Right now, that idea is providing encouragement and positive feedback - believing in the dreams of others, and telling them so”- Curt Rosengren. I believe in you to have your purpose !

This article is brought to you by Ola Olabimpe. A creative motivational writer for a FREE motivational self improvement ezine. She is a lover of quotes and would find lots of it in her writings.You can read and enjoy our weekly ezine on http://www.mindjuicezine.com Mind juice is sent via email and the site is regularly updated with absolutely free and just about anything that has to do with self development! SO kick start every week with a handful of inspiration visit http://www.mindjuicezine.com Now!

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Fired or Downsized

Last time the used car salesman pitched a lemon at you, he called the high price tag an "investment." Didn't sound so bad did it? He gift wrapped his words.

When you were fired, they called it a strategic downsizing. Now that didn't make you any better off... but it sure sounded nicer than being "fired"

Euphemisms are efficient linguistic tactics to counter objections. The key is to redefine certain words in an antagonist's statement such that his objection no longer seems so overwhelming.

Through redefinition we create new "frame" meanings about a behaviour by re-labeling a key word that's part of the belief statement. The relabeling frames the entire belief statement with a new meaning.

Redefinition asserts that "X doesn't mean Y, it means Z" Since X=Z and not Y, we now have a totally new belief statement. hopefully a more empowering one.

Here are some questions you can test yourself with to increase your flexibility at reframing: What meanings have other people given to this objection/ belief?

What other meanings could I attribute this behavior?
What value could this belief have in other nations or cultures?

The secret to reframing: Simply replace one of the key words in the argument such that it subtly changes the sentence's meaning.

1. "It doesn't mean x, it means y"

2. "It doesn't cause x," it causes y"

3. "If you really want to see a case of x, consider."

Let's do some reframes, after all, practice makes perfect.

Objection: You were too tough on your employees; it's unkind! How do you expect to motivate them?

Answer: I agree that they might be hurt at first. But tough words also have its place. In this instance, I'm actually not criticizing without just cause. I'm simply expressing my feelings so they'll know where I stand. Would you rather I lied? You believe in assertive conversation, don't you?

Objection: You're tardy for the umpteenth time. You don't care about me.

Answer: My being late doesn't imply I don't care. It means I had a lot of things to do at work today; it also means I want to get everything out of my mind so when I get home I can fully relish being with you and show you how much I truly care!

About the Author:

Joseph R. Plazo is a busy man. He had been directing multiple enterprises since he achieved financial independence at 22. While juggling corporate endeavors, he writes books and relaxes with active sports. Airsoft is his passion.

Today, he connects with men and women all over the world to spread the revolutionary gospel of savvy semantics and behavioral change technologies. His rallying cry is Make Life Magic!

Unleash your full potential

The ultimate careers

Superb coaching

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February Thoughts

February 1

"Our brothers have made us lose heart. They say,`The people are stronger and taller than we are...'" (Deuteronomy 1:28). What a pity that our brethren put stumbling-blocks in the way by discouraging us with goblins of fear, guilt, inferiority and hate. God sent His Son to deliver us from these evils. Now we must go on to our new and heavier responsibilities with courage. We must not pay attention to those who would melt our hearts by "saying"--by criticizing and downgrading--and thereby making the downhearted to fall. The one who discourages is like a black cloud with no silver lining. The Christian who knows God knows better.

February 2

Art Buchwald told the story of the Hollywood producer who loved to collect rare books and loved to tell about it, too. His friends, tired of bent ears, hired an actor to tell the producer that he had an old German Bible. The collector asked him who printed it, and the actor replied, "`Guten' something." The stunned producer said, "Guntenberg?" "Yes, that sounds like it." The producer screamed, "Let's go, we'll hire a plane!" The actor replied, "It can't be worth anything. Someone named Martin Luther scribbled all over it." Are we making our Bibles worthwhile for others by notating what is precious to us?

February 3

Ambition is fine if it is headed in the right direction, but aspiration without inspiration can literally kill us. We should hope for a better life, but be willing to work for it, too. "Hope is the sunshine of the heart; and those young people who begin life with a free gratification of wants and a full sense of prosperity lose the fine relish that comes with each new and hard-earned indulgence, and the delight of adding to another's pleasure by self-sacrifice and renunciation. They may well be pitied for not knowing the enjoyment of gradual progress through their own power of perseverance" (George S. Hillard).

February 4

"He leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul" (Psalm 23:2b). This jewel of a psalm has calmed countless hearts. It is beside the still waters where the Holy Spirit meets His saints, not in the winds and waters of strife. He cannot lead us to the placid waters if we are rushing ahead of Him. We must take the time to be led to the peaceful morning hours with Him. This is when He prepares our hearts for the struggles of the day. This is where the success is won before the campaign is engaged: in prayer, seeking our guidance for the day. Then let us rest awhile by the still waters of His gentleness and affection, His joy and peace.

February 5

This humorous story whittles us to our befitting size: A young woodpecker felt quite energetic one morning, and he decided to start the day by pecking at a giant oak tree. He pecked away and was making a minuscule dent when a flash of lightening split the tree from top to bottom. The bird rushed out from under the wreckage, looked up at what the lightening left of the tree, and whispered in awe, "Gracious! I didn't even know my own strength!" It might help to get away from the trees and see the forest to get a better perspective on what God has done for us--and what we can’t do for ourselves!

February 6

We have heard many times that overdone expression, "It's a great life if you don't weaken." Words that come to mind are endurance and steadfastness and unwavering. "...We consider blessed those who have persevered" (James 5:11a). The outstanding example of fortitude is Job, even though he understandably went through a period of peevishness. Actually Job was not so patient as he was persevering. He was afflicted with a variety of intense griefs and yet could still bless God and go on. The most effective way to endure the ills that beset all is to look to the end of them, for "This, too, shall pass." At the time it may not seem so, but God is going to wipe away all tears (Revelation 21:4).

February 7

"When he drank some of its wine, [Noah] became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent" (Genesis 9:21). Abraham passed off his wife as his sister--twice--and he rationalized that it was true, for Sarah was his half-sister; he also gave in to Sarah's plea for a child through her maid. David, "the man anointed by the God of Jacob" (2 Samuel 23:1), the beloved of God, fell to the depths and committed just about every sin in the Book. But God forgave them--and He forgives us.

February 8

How the heart yearns for quietness and harmony! We are drowning in din. We are bombarded with rock music and loud ads and obnoxious TV programs with their senseless laugh tracks. The stupidity is appalling. "Go, my people, enter your rooms and shut the doors behind you; hide yourselves for a little while..." (Isaiah 26:20). The Word asks us to pray for those in authority that the rest of us may lead tranquil and quiet lives in godliness and dignity (1 Timothy 2:1,2). Our guarantee is in Isaiah 30:15: "In quietness and trust is your strength." God is the author of peace, not confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33).

February 9

“So live, that when thy summons comes to join/The innumerable caravan, which moves/To that mysterious realm, where each shall take/His chamber in the silent halls of death,/Thou go not, like the quarry-slave at night,/Scourged to his dungeon, but, sustained and soothed/By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave,/Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch/About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams.” (Thanatopsis, William Cullen Bryant). How shall we then live?

February 10

Abraham Lincoln said, "My concern is not whether God is on our side; my great concern is to be on God's side." In 2 Corinthians 4:8 Paul tells us, "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed..." It is because Paul is on God's side that he can declare such peace of mind when troubles press in from all sides. Lincoln knew that we need only to be on God's side--to know and to do His will--and then we need not worry about God being on anyone's side. After all, God is the Father of us all. He loves all equally and is impartial, which means He is just. That takes care of our need for man's justice, for we have God's truth.

February 11

God means for us to be active. It is against the nature God gave us for us to seek ease and the easy way out. "The only thing in which we can be said to have any property are our actions. Our thoughts may be bad, yet produce no poison; they may be good, yet produce no fruit. Our riches may be taken away by misfortune, our reputation by malice, our spirits by calamity, our health by disease, our friends by death. But our actions must follow us beyond the grave; with respect to them alone, we cannot say that we shall carry nothing with us when we die, neither that we shall go naked out of the world" (Colton).

February 12

The disciples of Jesus progressed from common men into uncommon revolutionists who changed hearts and attitudes. When we envy others their success, or seeming success, let us think of this small band of men who Jesus chose to be His first pupils. And let us remember that these His followers thought Jesus had failed when He was raised up on the cross. But O! that glorious testimony of the Son of Man, "But I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all...to myself" (John 12:32). In the lifting of that cross from earth to heaven is the accomplishment and vindication for us all. From that seeming greatest defeat of all came the consecrated and perfect success for humanity. Thank You, Jesus!

February 13

"God does not comfort us to make us comfortable, but to make us comforters" (Dr. Jowett). When we look back on our times of trouble we know that God uplifted us. What He gave was strength as well as consolation. His comfort is not a sedative to desensitize but a brace to fortify our spirit so we might then share courage with others in their time of distress. The cup of grief is full for our friend, and our tenderness is sorely needed, but with that compassion we can tell our friend about His Passion, and thereby help that person to see a reason to live through his or her sorrow.

February 14

Our present generation (and probably every generation) disdains rules. Some have complained that it cramps their style and makes them feel hemmed in. Wilbur Chapman sums it up it for the Christian: "The rule that governs my life is this: Anything that dims my vision of Christ, or takes away my taste for Bible study, or cramps my prayer life, or makes Christian work difficult, it is wrong for me, and I must, as a Christian, turn away from it." Jesus sums it up ultimately: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart...You shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:30,31). This sums up our rules for life.

February 15

"For Christ's sake..." We cringe when we hear it used wrongfully but in prayer what a splendid purpose it has. "For Christ's sake" we are to forgive one another (Ephesians 4:32); serve one another (2 Corinthians 4:5); accept our weaknesses and difficulties (2 Corinthians 12:10); pray for each other (Romans 2:3); and be fools for His sake (1 Corinthians 4:10). God has mercies for our sakes: "For the sake of ten I will not destroy [Sodom]" (Genesis 18:32). Man pleads in His name: "For the sake of your name, O Lord, forgive my iniquity, though it is great" (Psalm 25:11). Too, we will be hated of men for His name's sake (Matthew 10:22).

February 16

Arthur M. Moore, in his book, The Mighty Savior, relates the following: "I heard of a boy converted at a revival meeting...who had to leave next day to work three months in a tough labor camp. The people of the church were anxious about him lest he go down there and lose his experience and fail to give his testimony. So they had daily prayer meetings for him until he returned. `How did you get along? How did they treat you?' they asked. `Fine,' he replied. `My associates never found out.'" Was this young man a void page? "You are our letter...known and read of all men..." (2 Corinthians 3:3 ).

February 17

We have heard the phrase, "We are our own worst enemy." Let's rephrase that to, "We are our own best friend." Of course the Christian knows that Jesus is his or her very best Friend, but it might make us feel better, when others disown us for a time, to know that we are friends with ourselves. Abe Lincoln said, "I desire so to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end, when I have come to lay down the reins of power, I have lost every other friend on earth, I shall at least have one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside of me." If we stay friends to our principles, then we can remain friends with ourselves.

February 18

"Our youths love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders, and have to chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when their elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up their food, and tyrannize their teachers" (Socrates, 400 B.C.). Doesn't this sound familiar? Apparently human behavior is consistent through the centuries. But our God tells us that He wants to give us a new character; He wants to give us a heart of flesh and take away our hard heart (Ezekiel 36:26).

February 19

A lady realized that her fears were running and ruining her life so she made for herself a "worry table" in which she tabulated all her anxieties. She came up with the following figures: 40%--will never happen because fear is the result of a tired mind; 30%--about old decisions which I cannot alter; 12%--others' criticisms about me, most untrue, made by people who feel inferior; 10%--about my health, which gets worse as I worry; 8%--"legitimate," since life does have some real problems to meet. (From Thomas S. Kepler, Jesus' Spiritual Journey and Ours).

February 20

"And the Lord turned the captivity of Job when he prayed for his friends..." (Job 42:10, KJV). When we are angry toward others then we are captive to ugly feelings. "There is nothing that makes us love someone as praying for him, and when you can do this sincerely...you have fitted your soul for the performance of everything that is kind and civil toward him. Be daily on your knees... praying for others in such form, with such length, importunity and eagerness as you use for yourself; and you will find all little, ill-natured passions die away, and your heart will grow great and generous" (William Law). What a beautiful thought!

February 21

Hands! Do we appreciate our hands? "He showed them His hands..." (Luke 24:40). The hands of Jesus were human hands, hands that once were baby hands; hands that toiled in a carpenter's shop; hands that blessed, motivated by a love that finally literally killed Him. His hands hallowed the little ones; His pure hands touched the sick and made them well in mind and body. But most important of all are His saving hands: "I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand" (John 10:28). To think that our Savior took to heaven wounded hands that were used only to bless us....!

February 22

Sometimes we sink to our knees in sickness of body and mind, unable to gather our forces to go on. This little story should help us in these times. A small boy was struggling to lift a heavy stone, but he couldn't budge it. His father, passing by, stopped to watch his efforts. Finally he said to his son: "Are you using all your strength?" "Yes, I am," the boy cried, exasperated. "No," the father said calmly, "you aren't. You haven't asked me to help you." Even Jesus asked His Father for help that terrible night in the Garden: "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done" (Luke 22:42).

February 23

Benjamin Franklin, printer, publisher, author, inventor, scientist and diplomat, published Poor Richard's Almanack in which he coined numerous proverbs praising prudence, industry and honesty. He wrote: "When confronted with two courses of action, I jot down on a piece of paper all the arguments in favor of each one. Then, by weighing the arguments pro and con and canceling them out one against the other, I take the course indicated by what remains." There are legitimate gray areas of life when it is a good idea to do this. It's choosing the better of two goods, when two options are equally honorable.

February 24

There's a story about a cow and a pig. The pig was complaining because he was so disliked. He told the cow that people were always talking about how gentle and kind the cow was. The pig admitted that the cow was quite generous with her milk and cream, but he told the cow that actually the pigs gave much more. The cow thought a while and then said, "Maybe it's because I give while I'm still living." Proverbs 11:25 KJV says, "The liberal soul shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself." It's a good idea to open hand and heart while living; one of the rewards is both their happiness and ours.

February 25

We should read Psalm 8 on days when we wonder if God cares about His creation. "... What is man that you are mindful of him...You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor" (Vss.4,5). The responsibilities and possibilities are awesome when one does consider what man is. Hebrews 2:9 tells us, "But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels, now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death..." The greatest favor and honor to man was the incarnation and resurrection of the Son of Man. In this lies our value.

February 26

A father gave prudent advice to his son who had just graduated from college and was about to go into his profession. "My boy," he said, "remember there are three bones, and you will never have any trouble." "How will three bones keep me out of trouble?" the boy asked, puzzled. "There is a wishbone, a jawbone, and a backbone," the father explained. "The wishbone keeps you going after goals. The jawbone helps you find out how to go after them if you are in doubt, and the backbone keeps you at it until you get there." Lord, we pray for one more bone, a firebone of love from the Holy Spirit, that we may glorify You.

February 27

Richter defined time as the chrysalis of eternity. What an unusual and exquisite concept this is. The dictionary defines chrysalis as the third stage in the development of an insect, the pupal stage; also, anything still in the process of development. It is during pupation that larval structures of insects break down and adult structures form: wings appear for the first time. The adult emerges from the cocoon; the caterpillar is transformed into the butterfly. God is giving us this chrysalis to develop our wings. May we use our time wisely that we may have it for eternity.

February 28

Ecclesiastes 1:9c tells us there is nothing new under the sun. But whatever the current population is, that is how many newnesses there are. Martin Buber said: "Every person born into this world represents something new, something that never existed before, something original and unique...There has never been anyone like him in the world, for if there had been someone like him, there would have been no need for him to be in the world. Every man is a new thing in the world and is called upon to fulfill his particularity in this world." So let us not doubt that God has His good reasons for our being.

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FAQs on Temperament and Personality

These are Frequently Asked Questions concerning the basics of Temperament and Personality.

A. Can you change your personality?

You cannot change your basic temperament styles but you can influence your behaviors and thereby your personality. The biggest mistake I've seen is someone who has "put on" behaviors that were not theirs' naturally until it has become habitual. It is almost always obvious and often painful. An example is a phlegmatic who felt is necessary to put on an outgoing sanguine style for so many years that it has become a habit; however it is clear that this is not their natural way of being.

B. Can you change someone else's personality?

If you can't change you own, it is clear that you can't change someone else's but that won't stop most of us from trying. This is an special problem in marriage and child raising if the spouse or parent thinks the other person can be "improved" on. In Dicken's David Copperfield, Mr. Murdstone and his sister fatally try to impress their choleric nature on sanguine Mrs. Copperfield. Husbands and wives who think they will change their spouse may affect some behavior changes and think they have "changed" them. Changes are only fully implemented when they come from within the person and then they will still be in line with their basic temperament style.

C. Why do people so often marry opposite temperament?

The first person to find out the underlying answer to this one will retire wealthy. Seriously, what attracts us to another person? Often it is the strengths we see in them that we do not have temperamentally. A choleric woman may appreciate the easygoing nature of the phlegmatic. A disorganized Sanguine appreciates the orderly manner of a melancholy. Unfortunately, over time, we realize that our natural strengths are usually their natural weaknesses, which can cause friction or even a feeling of betrayal; that is, "if he really loved me, he wouldn't be so disorganized, or angry, or rigid".

D. Why do different temperament types irritate us?

Again, it's usually a matter of strengths and weaknesses. A straightforward choleric is irritated by a highly verbal sanguine. A highly organized melancholy finds a phlegmatic's laid back nature to go "against their grain". The phlegmatic is the most likely to ignore these irritations. The choleric is the most likely to bring them out in the open.

E. Is one temperament "better" than another?

Each of us is who we are - we were made that way based on inherited temperament characteristics. Each temperament type at some time thinks another type is "better" but that feeling is usually related to something they admire in that person that they cannot do easily. So a quiet phlegmatic envies the sanguines easy outgoing manner and the disorganized sanguine may envy the melancholy's natural organization. Each type is better at some things and worse at others. The trick is to match the personality to the situation - which very rarely happens in normal life.

F. How does knowing my temperament help me?

"Why do I do the things I do?" is a question many of us have asked ourselves at one time or another. Temperament study gives us insight into some of those "whys". A choleric with a quick temper, the talkative sanguine, or the organized melancholy now have an underlying reason for behavior. The trick is not to let temperament become an excuse for negative behavior.

G. What jobs are best for each temperament type?

Again there are many other factors to consider but in general cholerics make good leaders (managers or executives) if they can control their tendency to criticize and get angry. Sanguines make good teachers if they can keep themselves organized. Phlegmatics make good counselors or pastors; anywhere where noncritical listening and relating can be helpful. Melancholies are good anywhere organization is important including the law and medical professions. Cholerics don't like jobs where easygoing relating to others is important. Phlegmatics don't care for jobs where they must be outgoing and talkative. Melancholies detest jobs where they have little control over their circumstances and sanguines don't like jobs where they must work alone for periods of time.

H. Help! I'm not just a blend of two types - I can see traits of three!

This is where temperament tests can be useful as well as talking with someone familiar with temperament theory. If we inherit temperament then it's certainly possible to inherit a blend of three temperament types.

I. What are quick "cues" that I can use to "read" a person's temperament?

Again, the phlegmatic will be calm, quiet and easygoing. The melancholy will be precise, analytical and critical in conversation. A sanguine will always be the most verbal and will often be a "toucher". The choleric will be straightforward, even abrupt and most easily angered.

J. I hate my job! Is that a temperament thing?

If you dislike the job because it doesn't "fit" your type, then yes it may be temperament related. List those things you dislike about the job (i.e. relationships, tasks, etc., NOT "it doesn't pay enough".) and compare them to your temperamental strengths and weaknesses. This should give you insight into whether or not your job dislike is temperamental.

K. I love my husband (wife, child) but I can't stand certain traits. How can I change them?

Again, you cannot change a person's temperament type any more than you can change their eye color. Real change comes when a person sees the need to change and not before. Externally forced change is never real and can cause unhappiness and friction. Encourage the other's natural strengths and discourage their natural weaknesses. Realize that you may cause the same feelings in others that do not have your temperament.

L. How do the different temperament systems match up? Am I a choleric, a "D", or an “SJ”?

There are many different “systems” of temperament classification. There are even those that compare a temperament to different animals. The three most common systems include the one used here - choleric, sanguine, melancholy and phlegmatic, as well as the Meyers-Briggs Temperament Indicator which uses sixteen combinations of traits and includes the Guardian, Artisan, Rational, and idealist. The DiSC system is similar to the first system where the Decisive is the choleric, the influencer is the Sanguine, the Steady is the phlegmatic and the Conscientious is the Melancholy.

M. Is my temperament my personality?

Or the other way round? What's the difference? Temperament is the canvas, personality is the painting. The temperament is the foundation, personality is the building. Taking your basic temperament, you add life experience, culture, education, and upbringing to form your personality.

N. How do the temperaments relate to a person's anger and fear? Everyone experiences fear and anger.

The phlegmatic experiences the most fear and the choleric the most anger. The melancholy fears being out of control of situations and the Sanguine has quick, hot flashes of anger that pass as quickly as they start.

O. Do men and women's temperaments differ substantially?

Temperament is temperament. There are choleric men and choleric women. There are sanguine women and sanguine men. Gender is only one of many environmental factors that influence behavior. Others include upbringing, culture, education, etc.

P. If I can’t change my temperament, then what good is it to know about it?

Understanding temperament has many benefits such as understanding others better or being able to communicate more easily with temperament types that are different from yours. But while you cannot change your temperament type, all of us CAN change our behaviors. Knowing your temperamental weaknesses can help you reduce their impact on your life. Knowing your temperamental strengths can help you release them more into your everyday life. Feed your strengths and starve your weaknesses. Understand how your temperament impacts other types of individuals and adapt accordingly. If you have questions about your temperament, write me at the email address below.

Hal Warfield is a professional speaker, teacher and coach. Write him at warfield@midsouth.rr.com. Or visit http://www.halwarfield.com

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